I (didn’t) know

I didn’t know
when it all started

but I do know
that it didn’t start
when I retraced the steps
of the places we went

it didn’t start
when he insisted to walk me home
while rain poured around us
and stupid me didn’t have an umbrella

it didn’t start
when he was the first one
to start the conversation

it didn’t start
when he asked if I was mad
on two different occasions

it didn’t start
when he talked about his hopes and dreams
when he smiled
I wanted to think that smile was for me

it didn’t start
when he didn’t say goodbye
because I wasn’t worth one

it didn’t start
when I picked up the beat
and wrote the melody

it didn’t start
with a handshake,
a hello,
goodbye,
and everything in between

I didn’t know
when it all started

but I do know
that it didn’t end with us

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